It can be hard to discover that someone doesn’t like us. Some can quickly brush it off, while others may lie awake for hours as it eats away at them. Still, all of us are at least a little bothered by it in some way. After all, they’d surely feel different if they knew the real us.
At first glance, that last sentence can feel so encouraging. We assume nearly everyone would like us if they just got to know us. Of course, to think that requires us to assume we deserve people’s affections. We are convinced we’re so inherently good and pleasant that for someone to think otherwise requires ignorance on their part. And in a way, a person’s level of distaste for us is certainly based on not knowing us well enough.
Charles Spurgeon, one of history’s most famous preachers, said something which requires so much self-awareness that our culture would collectively implode if it truly believed it.
“Brother, if any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him; for you are worse than he thinks you to be. If he charges you falsely on some point, yet be satisfied, for if he knew you better he might change the accusation, and you would be no gainer by the correction. If you have your moral portrait painted, and it is ugly, be satisfied; for it only needs a few blacker touches, and it would be still nearer the truth.”
If we find someone dislikes us, we are quick to gather the opinions of friends who will tell us they just don’t know us. And there’s such truth to that. Yet if they gained a deeper knowledge of the true us, their opinion wouldn’t change for the better. How could it?
Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you thinks that he is wise in this age, he must become foolish, so that he may become wise. (1 Corinthians 3:18)
Whatever reason someone has to dislike us, the real us can only persuade them to hate us with a greater passion. After all, how many times have we murdered someone through our hateful hearts? Or committed adultery through our ever-wandering eye? How many moments throughout the day do we call ourselves a god, elevating our own desires over the creator of the universe?
When we’re honest with who we are, we can find nothing but great comfort. After all, it’s because of that depravity that Christ chose to die on a cross. If there’s no true good in us, we have no hope of pleasing a God who demands a spotless soul. Yet God displays the depth of love He has for His creation, sending His son to a world that did absolutely nothing to deserve Him.
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Ephesians 5:8)
God knows the real us because He sees our hearts. He knows we’re a broken, blasphemous, murderous people who deserve His judgment. God knows the real us, yet still Christ came so that we could stop being the real us and, through the power of the Holy Spirit, start becoming more like Him.
We can be thankful that the person who detests us the most still has no idea how wretched we truly are. If someone truly knew us, they would hate us. But more than that, every child of God is forever grateful that the One who does know us decided to show great mercy, sacrificing His son to die for the greatest criminals in the universe.
God is so good, and the more we realize the depth of our wickedness, the more we stand in awe at the endless love and mercy He shows.
For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You. (Psalm 86:5)
