We should hate sin. Our sin makes us an enemy of a holy God, and the only way our crimes could be forgiven is to believe that Christ took God’s wrath in our place. By asking Him to to save us, we ask Him to accept our punishment and give us His spotless life in exchange.
That lopsided trade should cause us to absolutely detest sin. And through the power of the Holy Spirit, a Christian’s life is marked by slowly killing sin and loving righteousness. However, on this side of Heaven we still find ourselves loving the same things that made us guilty before the God who adopted us into His family. Yet for all the hatred we should have for sin, we can also be thankful for it.
Sin, God’s little rumble strips
Perhaps the word “rumble strip” isn’t familiar, but most of us know what they are. They’re those little grooves cut into the side of highways. If you’ve ever drifted off the highway, you know that unpleasant vibration and the accompanying noise that makes children giggle. Sin is our rumble strip.
What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. (James 4:1)
We often wonder where our sinful thoughts and actions come from. We live and talk as if we’re merely victims of something far outside our control. We have all sorts of things we love to blame, whether it’s Satan, our brains, or someone else giving us no other choice. Whenever we sin, we love to shrug our shoulders as if we’re absolutely flabbergasted about why we did it.
Yet this passage in James is so clear. The church he wrote to was dealing with infighting, but we can substitute “quarrels” with whatever sin we love.
In other words, “What is the source of
- drinking and substance abuse
- yelling at your kids
- laziness
- being a “work-a-holic”
- spending too much time on social media
- wasting money
“Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? … You adultress, do you know know that friendship with the world is hostility towards God?”
Those sinful actions and desires aren’t the root of our problem, they’re merely expressions of a heart that is finding pleasure in something other than God. Sin is our indication that a cancer has taken root and is draining the life from us.
Sin is a rumble strip, screaming a warning that we’ve drifted from the safety of the highway.
What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it? (Romans 6:1-2)
Make no mistake, we should never love sin. Yet while we still draw breath, sin is a “when,” not an “if.” So when we sin, we can see it clearly for what it is. We aren’t victims of our actions. We choose sin because we choose to be a friend of the world, making compromises great and small to find satisfaction in something apart from Jesus Christ.
In that way, we can be so very thankful for sin. Would we prefer never do it again? Absolutely. But when we realize that sin acts as our warning that we have drifted from the cross, we respond with repentance from that sin. If our sin is what drives us back to Jesus Christ, then we can be thankful that God uses something so wretched for His glory.
Thankful for my depression
We all have a host of “rumble strips” that alert us to areas in our lives where we’re drifting from God and embracing the world.. Although I have no lack of sinful thoughts and behaviors, depression is one that has always stood out for me. I can easily fall into a feeling of doubt, hopelessness, and an inability to muster the desire to do… really anything at all, because what’s the point? And it’s my depression that has taught me the reality of sin’s warning signs.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)
When God pressed the weight of this verse into my heart, the fact that I had spent a decade as a Christian still being conformed to the world, I realized it wasn’t me who brought about holiness, but merely my willingness to let God do the transforming without my constant kicking and screaming. In that moment of surrender, my depression lifted for the first time in 18 years. It was beautiful and slightly terrifying, and I realized what it meant to have a life devoted to Christ.
But it didn’t last.
I don’t know when, but in time I could feel the nag of depression setting in again. I felt like a victim, because what could I do against depression? So I found myself slowly, quietly sinking into despair.
In time, I’ve learned what causes my depression. It’s the same today as it was 6 years ago when I stopped fighting the Holy Spirit. I’ve realized that my sinful desire to slip into doubt, anxiety, and hopelessness is always, always a result of drifting away from Christ. And it’s often so subtle that I don’t realize it’s happening until it does.
I don’t need to spend months doing drugs, looking at naked women, or neglecting my family to find myself surrounded by an oppressive darkness. All I need to do is take a little time from Christ and spend it watching more Netflix than I know I should. I just need to find excuses not to pray, or decide to read a novel at the expense of my Bible. A few compromises here and there is all I require to slowly start embracing the world.
But in time, often very quickly, those things I seek pleasure in start to fail me. I’m no longer happy chewing on dirt and expecting to taste a steak. Yet rather than turning to Christ, I bury myself deeper in distractions and pleasure. I forego the things of God because, although I don’t want to admit it, I know that the Holy Spirit will further convict me of sin and I’ll have to get rid of the things I want to find satisfaction in.
This cycle continues until I find myself broken and hopeless. Nothing in the world feels meaningful because nothing gives me ultimate meaning and satisfaction. Temporary pleasures are just that – temporary. Yet the more enjoyment I acquire, the less satisfied I am.
I’m sure my story is familiar to many. If it’s not depression, it’s any other sin we fall into. Small compromises give way to greater ones, and we must necessarily avoid God because we know He threatens our idols.
Yet for all my idolatry, God shows that He has more grace. I can’t outdo God’s mercy, nor can I finally reach that tipping point where God will wash His hands of me. The further I move away from Him, the more the Holy Spirit pursues me.
And finally, when I reach a certain depth of sin, Christ reveals His majesty. It’s as if He says “It didn’t work this time either, did it?” He brings me to repentance, reminding me that ultimate satisfaction is found in Him alone.
In time, I’ve learned to see the early warning signs of my drifting. Where once those rumble strips had to shake my car so much that I couldn’t see straight, God has taught me to turn back to the cross at the earliest hints of setting things above Christ. And in that way, I’m thankful that my depression serves as my warning that somehow, somewhere in my life, I’ve set something over my Savior.
