In 2019, I’m almost hesitant to write an article like this. Much of Christian writing mixes spirituality with self-help, making a pseudo-gospel where Christ exists so we can be better people. But after yesterday’s bigger topic of why we blame others for our failure (link), it seems important to also discuss some more practical reasons to steer clear of it. Let’s look at 3 of them.
#1 Failure shows a need to change
The righteous cry, and the Lord hears
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all.
He keeps all his bones,
Not one of them is broken. (Psalm 34:17-20)
God does very little to boost our ego. He’s not a life coach who always cheering us on, telling us that we can do it if we try. The God of the universe doesn’t need people who believe in themselves and their ability to succeed, but instead trust in Him and what He values.
Often times, our failure is a result of something not working. Whether it’s giving in to anger, lust, or addictions, we all know what it’s like to fail, try again, and fail again. We rarely see a need for course correction, instead telling ourselves that we’ll do better this time. And when we don’t, we’re quick to point the finger at something else because we can’t imagine that it’s us, not external factors, that need to change.
“I wouldn’t get so angry if my kids would just listen.”
“If women dressed modestly, I wouldn’t want to look.”
“I can’t help my addictive personality.”
Yet when we stop shifting blame, we have no choice but to accept that it’s us who need to change. It’s our wants, our focus, and our expectations that lead us to sin. When we kill the desire to worship ourselves, we can easily see where we’re loving something more than our God, and relying on something more than our savior.
But God will never leave us to our sin. When we see our brokeness and accept our inability to do right on our own, we will soon find ourselves in repentance. In rejecting the lie that we can find satisfaction apart from God, we can likewise reject those things that lead to giving in to our weakness.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)
The Holy Spirit is always at work in us, slowly revealing the roots of our sin so that we can see what needs to change. Yet this change towards betterment doesn’t come from us. We don’t create the change, but instead become transformed by the power of God. When we stop blaming others, we see just how desperately we need Christ to change us.
#2 Failure keeps us humble and content
For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. (Romans 12:3)
We’re told we deserve to be happy. We’re special and important and should have all the things we want. Our happiness is our greatest ambition, and our success is based on just how much happiness we have.
We deserve a nice house, new car, satisfying job, and a spouse whose body and personality are tailored to what we want. So what happens when we aren’t happy? We blame our parents for not giving us money, our boss for not promiting us, and our spouse for not giving us the life we want. It’s everyone else’s fault that we don’t have what we deserve.
Arrogance. Entitlement. That’s the heart of a spoiled child, pitching a fit and throwing things at their parents because they were told “no.” That’s what so many of us do when we think so highly of ourselves, assuming it’s failure to not have our greed met by what our hearts tell us will finally make us happy.
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. (1 John 2:16)
When we stop blaming others for where we are in life, God can reveal 2 amazing truths.
First, we can see that we deserve nothing except the wrath of a holy God. Our sin, even that very selfishness that leads us to blame others, make us enemies of God. When we see the incredible forgiveness through Christ’s death on the cross, our opinion of ourselves fades away before the goodness and righteousness of God. We don’t deserve one good thing in our lives, especially not the greatest thing we could ever have.
Second, we realize that nothing can truly satisfy us apart from Christ. Wherever we find ourselves, He is enough. Come prosperity or poverty, plenty or want, Christ is all we need. We can be content wherever we find ourselves because our satisfaction is bound up in something more reliable that items or circumstances.
#3 Failure points us to Christ
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26)
Seeing a need to change is a wonderful first step. Understanding that our joy isn’t found in stuff is an important truth. However, those truths can be found in any family movie. And in the end, those truths won’t last.
Our failures aren’t meant to make us better people. They don’t exist so we can have a clarifying moment where we realize true happiness is found in accepting things as they are. If our failures point us to ourselves, then those failures are wasted.
Failure, whether it’s a true failure or a sense of lacking something, points us to Jesus Christ. It shows us that we lack something, whether it’s self-control or contentment, and reveals our need to find it somewhere. And our greatest need is a source of strength and contentment that can’t fail.
Everything else we rely on fades, diminishes, or can’t deliver its promise of lasting satisfaction. That’s what makes Christ the only source of true joy in this world. It’s not because He’s better than everything else, but because He’s the only true thing in a broken world filled with frauds.
The very heart of idolatry is trying to find God… without God. It’s pledging ourselves to a source of strength that allows us to be in control instead of casting aside our desires. It’s wanting something that will satisfy our lusts rather than changing our hearts.
Excuses or Christ?
Christ doesn’t promise a life of happiness. Happiness is nothing more than an emotional response to good things. However, Christ does promise joy, contentment, and satisfaction in who He is. The more we see of Him, the more we see the truth of our situations.
The need to blame others will make way for a love and reliance on Christ. The sooner we accept the weight of our sin, the sooner we can repent and rely on His strength. When we stop trying to find satisfaction in what we have, we can find true and lasting satisfaction in our savior.
The need to stop blaming others has nothing to do with us and everything to do with seeing our need for Christ.
